Online Dating

Online Dating

Advice for online dating success and a discussion of the evolution of dating now that there are internet dating sites.

Years ago, dating via the internet was unthinkable. In-fact when I began to date, we never even knew that the internet existed. We never dreamed that one day we would be hooking up with a date via our computer and a simple click of the mouse.

The internet has become a world that many of us are involved in, in many different ways for many different reasons. My friends and I delved into the cyberspace way of dating and relating some four years ago. When we first began it was a disaster, as none of us know what we were doing. But now we have come out the other side somewhat wiser, with a much better idea of the do’s and the don’ts of internet dating.

You can have a fulfilling online dating experience by following a few simple guidelines. Most dating sites will let you create a profile and post a photograph for free, however to contact people, this is where it does cost. There are some online dating services that are totally free, however the one’s I used when I dated online were all paid services.

It is a good idea to register with a few, cast a wide net so to speak. Below are my ideas for success when dating online.

 

• First and foremost, and especially for women, always remember safety first. If something feels off, then it probably is and you should bail as soon as possible. Don’t be afraid to cancel a date, or end a date you are on if you are feeling uncomfortable about your safety.

 

 

• Always post a photograph, a good clear photo that shows you smiling. You will have more contact from people if you post a photo. If you are not willing to post a photo, people may think you have something to hide. So this is always a good idea.

 

 

• Do not give out your phone number in the first email contact. I have heard of many people doing this and quite frankly this kind of behaviour reeks of desperation, a definite turn off.

 

 

• Do not read too much into the first few emails. Quite often it is easy to become excited about a prospective date just from a few emails. This is foolish as these people you are emailing are not real until you meet them face to face.

 

 

• When you talk on the phone for the first time, keep the conversation short. The first phone call should be about making the first date, nothing more. Do not fall into the trap of chatting for hours on end to a total stranger. It is very easy to be lulled in a false sense of security and reveal way too much about yourself. You should be revealing yourself face to face on a date or preferably a series of dates.

 

 

• On your first date, keep it short. Go for a walk in the park or meet for coffee, for no more than an hour or so. The first date should not last for three hours.

 

 

• Unless your date is rude, or you decide that you just do not like them. Date the person three times before deciding if the friendship/relationship can go anywhere. One date, lasting an hour is not enough time to know if this person is the one for you. It is important that you give the person a chance.

 

• On one of your three dates, deliberately change the plans. Request a change of place, time or day. This will tell you if the person is flexible or not. If this person makes a fuss, there is a pretty good chance they might be controlling or abusive. This rule is not absolute, however I would be on my guard with anyone who got upset because I could not make it to lunch on a particular day.

These are just a few examples of things that I learnt whilst dating on-line. It took twenty-three dates and a failed relationship for me to realise my mistakes. I wish that I had this information that I am passing onto you back then, but I was none the wiser. Hopefully if you follow my simple guidelines you will have a successful and enjoyable online dating experience.

Author: Janelle Coulton