Online Dating: Immediate Satisfaction Guaranteed?

We live in a time of instant gratification. We don’t want things tomorrow or the next day. We want it now. That extends to online dating which has raised the expectation levels when it comes to relationships like few things before or since.

In the old comedy show Get Smart, Maxwell Smart tells his arch nemesis Siegfried that he needs to learn patience. Siegfried’s reply? “I am patient. It’s just that waiting bugs me.” No doubt many people seeking to meet that special someone in cyber space can relate.

It’s understandable. Never before has there been anything quite like online dating. The almost unlimited selection of potential dating partners, depending on which online service you use, coupled with the ability to instantaneously connect with someone who shares your same interests is a phenomenon that has revolutionized dating online and off. And all from the privacy of your computer.

The funny part is online dating has really taken off. Why is this a surprise? Mainly because it was not expected to do so well in a down economy. We all know how tough things are; yet many online dating services are reporting record memberships and more importantly for them record profits. No doubt the future looks bright for quite a number of these companies.

Yet you can visit countless forums where many people are upset because after a certain period of time they have not really met anyone. Others take it a little further and blame the dating service they signed up with. If certain dating sites are supposed to be the industry leaders when it comes to internet dating, then someone is lying.

In some ways they have a point. But one thing online dating has done besides transform the public scene is heighten people’s anticipation level. A cornucopia of people to choose from (more than what has ever been available) should yield better results faster. In theory it should work just like that.

Sure the stories are true where a person goes online for the first time meets their dating partner and after several back and forths they decide to hook up offline. Things go great. The chemistry was more than either of them expected and before you know it they are strolling down the aisle listening to the wedding march.

For the majority? Not so much. Online dating for them is a time-consuming tough journey and it is for the same reason that makes internet dating the phenomenon that it is; too many choices.

One person seems to share the same interest as you but their looks just don’t cut it as far as you are concerned. Another person does have the looks but your taste and their is so far apart that there is no way you can make a go of it. Someone else seems to be just what you are looking for but after several online chats it turns out you are not exactly what they are looking for. Now it is back to square one and you start the process all over again.

Because there are so many profiles to go thru and you have not had any luck so far the task gets a little more overwhelming. You start to ask yourself will you ever meet anyone. Many have answered no and given up all together. It’s back to the offline dating scene for them. Crowded bars and blind dates in their opinion yield better results.

The thing to keep in mind is that because you have so many people to choose from that it probably will take longer to find that special someone. Therefore treat online dating like your own personal cyber club. Establish friendships and create your own social network. Above all put those instant success stories out of your mind. They only increase your stress level. “They did so why can’t I” can easily become your mantra. Don’t let it. Since you are on this online dating train, the best thing you can do is enjoy the ride.

Advice for online dating success and a discussion of the evolution of dating now that there are internet dating sites.

Years ago, dating via the internet was unthinkable. In-fact when I began to date, we never even knew that the internet existed. We never dreamed that one day we would be hooking up with a date via our computer and a simple click of the mouse.

The internet has become a world that many of us are involved in, in many different ways for many different reasons. My friends and I delved into the cyberspace way of dating and relating some four years ago. When we first began it was a disaster, as none of us know what we were doing. But now we have come out the other side somewhat wiser, with a much better idea of the do’s and the don’ts of internet dating.

You can have a fulfilling online dating experience by following a few simple guidelines. Most dating sites will let you create a profile and post a photograph for free, however to contact people, this is where it does cost. There are some online dating services that are totally free, however the one’s I used when I dated online were all paid services.

It is a good idea to register with a few, cast a wide net so to speak. Below are my ideas for success when dating online.

• First and foremost, and especially for women, always remember safety first. If something feels off, then it probably is and you should bail as soon as possible. Don’t be afraid to cancel a date, or end a date you are on if you are feeling uncomfortable about your safety.

• Always post a photograph, a good clear photo that shows you smiling. You will have more contact from people if you post a photo. If you are not willing to post a photo, people may think you have something to hide. So this is always a good idea.

• Do not give out your phone number in the first email contact. I have heard of many people doing this and quite frankly this kind of behaviour reeks of desperation, a definite turn off.

• Do not read too much into the first few emails. Quite often it is easy to become excited about a prospective date just from a few emails. This is foolish as these people you are emailing are not real until you meet them face to face.

• When you talk on the phone for the first time, keep the conversation short. The first phone call should be about making the first date, nothing more. Do not fall into the trap of chatting for hours on end to a total stranger. It is very easy to be lulled in a false sense of security and reveal way too much about yourself. You should be revealing yourself face to face on a date or preferably a series of dates.

• On your first date, keep it short. Go for a walk in the park or meet for coffee, for no more than an hour or so. The first date should not last for three hours.

• Unless your date is rude, or you decide that you just do not like them. Date the person three times before deciding if the friendship/relationship can go anywhere. One date, lasting an hour is not enough time to know if this person is the one for you. It is important that you give the person a chance.

• On one of your three dates, deliberately change the plans. Request a change of place, time or day. This will tell you if the person is flexible or not. If this person makes a fuss, there is a pretty good chance they might be controlling or abusive. This rule is not absolute, however I would be on my guard with anyone who got upset because I could not make it to lunch on a particular day.

These are just a few examples of things that I learnt whilst dating on-line. It took twenty-three dates and a failed relationship for me to realise my mistakes. I wish that I had this information that I am passing onto you back then, but I was none the wiser. Hopefully if you follow my simple guidelines you will have a successful and enjoyable online dating experience.

Author: Janelle Coulton

If you want a journalist who likes listening to Beethoven, say so, otherwise you might end up with a stockbroker who likes listening to Iron Maiden. Try to keep your profile up to date and be straight forward with your thoughts. We suggest adding a photo, if you’re comfortable with it. Make sure it’s a recent one, and not one of you as a toddler!

When it comes to messaging or emailing, don’t include too many details – going overboard isn’t sensible. Just talk about things you have in common, and let it flow. Don’t be emotional, as the other person will probably take to his or her heels. Remember to be honest – don’t lie about who you are not .You will eventually be unmasked, ruining a potential friendship or romance. And remember to stay positive – don’t make silly comments about other user’s photograph, and don’t be critical of their profile.

You need to ensure that your privacy is intact, and that any information you provide is kept confidential. No staff member may ask you for your password, or even use your contact or email details for marketing purposes – though spam is sometimes inevitable and unavoidable. Try not to include your actual email address – you might consider making a separate account just for online dating. And giving out your phone number is a strict no no.

Once you’ve set up a good friendship, you might consider meeting the person. Remember to tell a close friend where you’re going, give all details. If you haven’t chatted over the phone yet, we recommend you do that first, to see how it goes. Don’t give out extremely personal details like home address and number unless you’re sure about the person. Meet in a public place, some kind of familiar location- so that you can relax and enjoy yourself. If at any point you feel offended by his/her behavior, or want to leave, do so.

Author: Joels Teo

Online Dating Tips: 3 Ways to Increase Your Success

Record profits, memberships on the rise tell you all you need to know concerning the state of online dating. Business is good and is scheduled to get even better. Yet for the overwhelming majority of participants it has been a flop. What’s up?

It has taken off like wildfire. Yes you will see it mentioned on the evening news usually in negative terms but if you check other information sources, online dating is mentioned on a regular basis; the good, bad or indifferent. Recent statistics show that despite this recession (which unfortunately is scheduled to get a whole lot worse) the online dating industry is enjoying a banner period.

Of course it has not always been this way. Not too long ago on line dating carried a certain stigma that it was only something a “loser” would do since no one in their right mind would try to meet, date or let alone marry someone from cyberspace. If they did participate, many people would keep the information to themselves for fear of ridicule.

Not anymore. The fact that online dating has become an accepted meeting place when it comes to relationships is a clear indicator that things have changed for the better.

Yet despite the vastness of choice, online dating for many people is no guarantee of success. In some instances it can more frustrating than the offline world due to the seemingly unlimited amount of candidates you can choose from. All these people and still no luck; what’s going on?

Just like the real world there are no ironclad guarantees when it comes to dating relationships but when meeting someone in the cyberworld there are some things you can do to tilt the odds a little bit more in your favor.

Consistency

Once you meet someone online make sure you contact them on a regular basis. Not to the point where you become so persistent that you go overboard; that can scare a prospect away quicker than anything. Just put aside time that both of you agree on and stick to it. Take it seriously and treat your time as valuable as well as theirs.

Respect

Conveying that in your chats is very important. No need to keep telling them you respect them; that will become evident in your manners, courtesy and tone of your discussion. Let them know you welcome their opinion and insight. If you disagree on something, handle it maturely. No relationship online or off is going to be friction free. Taking disagreement in stride can tell the other person a lot about you and how you would treat them in the relationship.

Giving

It may not be a face to face meeting but the other person wants to know something about you that goes beyond general chit chat. You do not have to turn your life into an open book but sending them links to your favorite music or uploading photos to someplace that you went on a vacation (with you in them) can make the other person feel like they are getting to know you better.

In turn they start doing the same thing because you have created an environment that puts them at ease. Pretty soon you are sharing more with each other on an equal basis. Also when they do give, you can go a long way to gaining their trust by keeping their personal information private. They are sharing with you and not for general public. You would expect them to do the same.

Online dating is not for everyone. People have complained about being in the cyberworld for a long time with no success or prospects. But the online dating industry is growing by leaps and bounds. That means many people are having success and convincing others to take the plunge. If you do meet someone than use the above steps as a way to keep the relationship moving in the right direction.

Article written by Daryl Campbell. Ninety percent of people who try online dating have no success. So what’s the secret of the ten percent? Find out at The Relationship Tip

In life we start out with a goal and do everything in our power to achieve that goal. That’s how it is supposed to work but quite often does not. The same with online dating. A determination to meet that special someone fails miserably. And the reasons?

As much as we would like success in all phases of our lives, reality says different. The big promotion at work that you know belongs to you is handed to someone else. Then you get called into the office only to be told the company is laying you off.

It stinks but that’s life. Online dating can follow a similar pattern. You and your dating partner are having some great chats. It’s only a matter of time before the two of you hook up for that first offline date. But just as the excitement and anticipation are building, the relationship ends. Was it your fault? You don’t know because you never got an explanation. All you know is that the communication is over.

That’s how it goes sometimes but in other instances the failure to make the online relationship work was shattered by nothing more than good old fashion self sabotage.

The ability to get in your own way is an amazing thing in a sad sort of way. You tell yourself that whatever you set out to achieve will be accomplished and nothing will stand in your way. Yet all the while there are things you are doing which take you further and further away from the goal.

You may not have done anything on purpose to jeopardize the connection but whether you did or didn’t is irrelevant. The issue is any or all these things can put the kibosh on your online dating relationship

1. The History of You

You tell your cyber date a little about yourself. Then a little more before you know it the conversations for the most part are all about you. When your cyber date does mention something about themselves you brilliantly manage to steer it back toward your life story. Doing that tells the other person you are probably into conversation domination, self centered and potentially a control freak. None of this may be true however refusing to yield the floor and show interest in the other person can leave a lasting impression.

2. Mendacious

You wrote something on your profile which was slightly exaggerated. You didn’t mean anything by it; you just wanted to boost your standing a little. Besides it was such a small item that no one will pay attention to it.

No one except your dating partner, who by the way is very good when it comes to noticing the minor details. They mention your exaggeration in passing. Truthfully you forgot all about it and give a somewhat different response. Now you are in trouble. That’s one thing about lying; you have to remember each one and stay consistent in the way you tell it.

3. Right Now If Not Sooner

Looks like things are really escalating. You ask your date out but they tell you that it’s only been a short period of time. Instead of accepting that answer, you start really laying it on: how much time do we need; you like me don’t you? I like you and we are really hitting it off. Once more they decline. The next time the two of you chat, you start the cycle all over again. This is a red flag for many people. They tell themselves since it has been a short period of time why the rush? Better safe than sorry for many of them so they end all communication with you.

Some people can try online dating once and have great success. Others have to work at it for longer then they care to. Nothing in this world is promised to us but if you want to increase the odds that on line dating never works for you than follow the steps above.

Online dating

Human beings are social creatures and are not meant to be alone. But trying to meet someone today can be difficult. Pickups in bars are not for most people who want to meet someone with whom they can share a relationship. Leaving meetings up to chance is also difficult as most people today are distrustful of strangers. The fantasy of falling in love with someone you met in the grocery store is just that – a fantasy. Most people do not like to be approached by a stranger when they are out.

Years ago, people met in school or at dances, married and stayed married. Today, over half of all marriages end in divorce. A great many people who are in their 30s and over are finding love by going to online dating sites. These sites not only give the 20 something crowd a chance at love, but also older people who may be looking for a second chance.

When you use an online dating site, you can search for your perfect mate by browsing pictures of those in your area as well as reading profiles. You can find out a little bit about the men and women on the site and narrow down your search. You can also allow them to find you as well.

You can find a dating site that allows you to chat with those you are interested in meeting. This gives you a chance to get to know them online before you decide to go out on a date. The best dating sites are those that offer the opportunity for chat, although this is not a feature offered on many online dating sites.

Dating today is easier than ever if you use the internet to guide you. If you have been stuck in a rut, feeling lonely and want to meet someone, there is no better way than to join an online dating site. It is easy and fast. You can look through online dating sites, find a site, put up your profile and start dating! Take that first step away from being alone and start creating your profile for dating sites today.

Author: Kim Owen